the voice in Ginny's head
by Anrheithwyr
Summary: He never leaves her side, never stops talking, whispering his secrets into her ear until she can no longer stand it.


In class, Ginny struggles to pay attention. She struggles to focus on the lessons and her professors' voices and the chattering of her peers waving their wands and reciting their spells. She tries, honestly she does, but her nights are filled with terrors and her days are filled with bags under her eyes, until all she ever wants to do is close her eyes and _sleeeeeep_.

But sleep never comes, instead always remaining just out of reach, that heavenly land of dreams and soft clouds that teasingly waits for her to catch up before taking off once more, leaving her behind in the dust to sigh and wish for the days when slumbering was not so hard.

Her nights are always full of images of _him_, the pretty young man with the dark, dark hair and the cold eyes. He spoke such lovely words, speaking of comforts and wisdom, helping her, consoling her when no one else seemed to care.

He called himself Tom, and Ginny allowed herself to fall in love with the idea that somewhere out there, a boy cared for her. And Tom sucked her dry, using Ginny up until there was nothing left of her except sleepless nights and a fear of diaries that were filled with blank pages.

And now, one year later, Ginny is still suffering; she sees Tom everywhere she went, sees him in everyone she talks to. Tom invades her nights, and he invades her days too, a never ending presence that is not content with leaving her be.

It is difficult to concentrate in class, with the memory of Tom breathing down her neck, keeping her from every being truly comfortable, and so, Ginny loses focus, forgets assignments, misplaces homework. Her professors grow frustrated, but Ginny cannot give them an explanation.

They would not understand her, even if she _does _try to explain how awful it is to constantly have a teenaged murderer in your head, or how much it hurts to maintain control, because he is always just _there _in the back of her mind, doing his best to take over once more.

She cannot let that happen, of course, but who is there to turn to in all of Hogwarts, when there is no one else who understands what it is like to have a horrible, terrible man like Tom Riddle whispering his secrets and desires into her ears every second of the day.

Yet, Ginny's grades continue to fall, and no matter what she does, she is always just too far behind the other students to properly catch up. The other second years seem reluctant to even speak to Ginny, recalling her odd behaviour the previous year and the fact that it had been _her_ that was dragged into the Chamber of Secrets.

(Professor Dumbledore had thought it wisest to not mention that Ginny had gone to the Chamber willingly, her foolish little head filled with promises of a better life if she just did this one last thing for Tom, a notion that had nearly gotten not only Ginny, but her brother Ron and his friend Harry, killed, all because Ginny had wanted to impress a boy stuck in a diary.)

Ginny feels like crying constantly as she tries to invent excuses why she has missed this assignment or that particular essay. She wants to succeed so badly, she really does, but no matter how much the twelve year old tries, her lack of sleep and her constant anxiety that Tom will come back only seems to push her further over the edge, until she has no choice but to tumble off and hope that the landing is soft enough to survive.

Until one day, when Professor Lupin stops Ginny on her way out of Defence class, holding up a hand to catch her attention. Professor Lupin is nice, a tall and friendly man with a kind smile, but Ginny knows that he only wants to speak about her failures in his class, and so, it is with trepidation that she slinks back to his desk, wondering if he might write a letter home to her mum.

"Ginny, I just wanted to ask if you've been getting enough sleep lately," Professor Lupin begins, leaning across his desk with his fingers tucked under his chin, tapping the underside of his face as he speaks. "You always seem exhausted in my class, and you don't appear to be struggling to concentrate on even the simplest of tasks. Besides that, you haven't turned in the past three homework assignments that I've given to you. Now, I'm not one for punishing a student, but I _must _ask, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replies with a sigh, already imagining her mum's reaction when she finds out how badly Ginny has been doing. Is it possible to be kicked out of Hogwarts for poor grades? Maybe she would be the very first case, though the idea did not excite her. "I suppose I _am _a bit tired, but it's nothing I can't keep under control, I promise, Professor."

"Ginny, please, if there's something wrong, it's my job and my _duty_ as your professor to make sure that you are okay. I want you to be in the best mental health possible, and too little sleep could hurt you in more ways than your grades. If something-absolutely _anything_, I mean-is wrong, anything at all, I have to insist that you tell me, Miss Weasley."

"I really am fine, Professor," she insists, getting to her feet. There is nothing he can do to help her, nothing he can do to make the nightmares go away, and all that Ginny is doing now is wasting his time. "I've honestly got to get to Transfiguration, sir, you know how strict Professor McGonagall is about being late, and I don't want to make her mad…I _swear_, I'm just a little tired is all. I can make up those assignments, sir, I can…I can work harder, you'll see. I'll fix everything."

"Very well, Miss Weasley. If you absolutely _insist _that nothing is wrong, then I suppose I must take you at your word for now. Just understand, though, that if you miss any more homework, or even fall asleep in my class, I _will _have to have a discussion with your Head of House, and _she _may not see the appropriation reaction as something so mild as a conversation, do you understand?" Professor Lupin frowns as he speaks, as though he doubts that Ginny is anywhere near fine, but she grabs her bag and nods anyway, glad to get out of class before he can push her any further.

"Of course I understand sir. I promise you, things will only get better from here, though. I've had a rough beginning, but I'll be your best student soon enough, you'll see. I promise, I _won't _fail you, Professor, I _won't_," she insists before hurrying to her next class, still trying to stuff Tom's whispering down deep inside of here to where she could no longer hear him. Tom never left her though, and as hard as Ginny tried, he would never leave her.

Maybe Ginny would be better off just accepting that fact, accept that Tom Riddle was in her head, whispering to her, making it impossible to think or sleep. Maybe she was better off just accepting that there was simply no getting rid of him, and do her best to adjust to a life where her head was always filled with Tom Riddle, the man who had ruined her life forever.

Maybe it is just best for her to let Tom Riddle cut her down to the bone until she no longer has anything left to give to him. After all, that's what he wants, isn't it? To ruin her, to hurt Ginny until she is his once again to manipulate and control? He will cut away at her until nothing is left, and Ginny _isn't_ sure she _isn't_ okay with letting him do that, if it means getting his voice out of her head.


End file.
